Have you ever felt broken? Irreparable, smashed, damaged?
That feeling of immense emotional pain when a deeply dug memory in the subconscious resurfaces and requires face to face contact? You turn your head away, but it’s there. You go to another room and it’s there. You go out and meet friends, figuring out the company and social activity will make it go away and switch your attention to something else. Yet when you return to your nest, it’s there to greet you and say “welcome home”.
We’ve all experienced difficult things in life. Nevertheless, we learn to deal with them. Of course, what else can we do? Though we’re the supreme species in the world, we’re imperfectly emotional, irrational and vulnerable beings. The question here is how do we go on? Not by avoiding the problem; rather by looking it in the eye. It’s not easy, but brave and real. Who hasn’t been heart broken? Think of parents, friends, lovers, life partners.
I’ve been there and looked the monster straight in the face, struggled and struggled, sweated like an addict in crisis, but when I’m done it actually means I’m done.
Human ache is what we get. What to do with it? Scream, shout, cry, share, learn from it, grow up, laugh at it, write it down, turn it into creative energy, analyze it….but don’t bury it. Remember that emotions are not things to lock up in drawers, to be forgotten and destroyed by the hands of time. Why forget? Recollect and grow from it. You are what you are because of it. These experiences shape you into a real person with something to look behind. Would you rather turn back and see blank, emptiness, and void?
The world is a mix of colors, shades of white, yellow, red and green, and the grey and black are here to make the others more appreciated. Would you enjoy the purity of white as much if you’ve never seen and experienced the black?
Broken we are and broken we shall be. And say yes to the next opportunity. Don’t turn your back to things and people. You can’t protect yourself. It’s an illusion. Just embrace it and give yourself into it like it’s your very first time. Dive in. If you don’t let go, you’re missing out on experiencing the deepest wonders and heights of existence. In case you end up in the bottomless depths instead, you’ll be able to deal with it, because you’ve already been there before.
Does this sound familiar? Have you felt broken and how did you deal with it? All experiences are more than welcome.